


Not Like This

by DoctorCucumber



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorCucumber/pseuds/DoctorCucumber
Summary: Something's wrong with the Doctor.  You have to take care of her after she is drugged.  Feelings come out.





	Not Like This

You shove your shoulder into the TARDIS door as the Doctor slumps against you. She giggles into the crook of your neck as you get the door open and the two of you stumble inside. You turn to face her, grabbing her by the shoulders so she won't fall over. You wave your hand in front of her face, but her eyes don't focus. Well, this is just fantastic.

You didn't really know what had happened. One minute the team had been taking a leisurely stroll, sightseeing on an alien planet, the next you were surrounded by purple smoke. You and the other humans had coughed and sputtered, but the Doctor had immediately started laughing. As she breathed in more of the gas, her knees began to buckle. She would have toppled over if you and Graham hadn't caught her. You smothered the initial panic as you headed back toward the TARDIS, dragging the Doctor along with you.

Now you were back and you had no idea what you could do to help. The Doctor tries to make a serious face as she suppresses giggles, throwing her arms around you and nuzzling her face into your neck. You feel your face turn beet red as you gently push her away; you couldn't let her do this, no matter how much you wanted her to.

You watch as Yasmin and Ryan hurry off to look for medicine, anything that would get the Doctor back to normal. As she gravitates back toward you, you jump behind Graham, putting him between the two of you. He chuckles as he grabs her gently and sits her down.

"I think the Doctor has a bit of a crush on you, Y/N," he grins, glancing over his shoulder at you.

You let out a nervous laugh. "She's not herself right now. It's just the gas making her be like this."

He shoots you a doubtful look as the Doctor lurches forward and grabs your hand, yanking you down to sit next to her. She leans her head against your shoulder and wraps her arms around you, snuggling you tight.

Your face goes red again. "It's just the gas, Graham," you choke out, your voice cracking. Before he can dispute that, you both turn toward the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching the console room. Ryan and Yasmin appear, carrying various jars and bottles in their arms.

You sigh with relief just before you feel a hand squeeze your knee and start to move up your leg. You jerk away reflexively, desperate to keep the Doctor from doing anything she might regret. She pouts for a second before succumbing to another fit of giggles.

You were getting whiplash from every direction this was going. You stare at the others desperately. "Help me," you mouth.

"I don't know, Y/N, this feels like a long time coming. You sure you aren't enjoying this?" Ryan asks, rifling through the different containers in his arms.

You nod your head vigorously, trying not to glance over at the Doctor, who seems to be moving further into your side by the minute.

Yasmin suppresses a grin and snaps her fingers in front of the Doctor. Her head lolls off of your shoulder, but her eyes are still unfocused. "Hey, Doctor, can you talk to us?"

The Doctor furrows her brow in concentration for a moment. "Of course I can talk, I have a mouth. Don't I?" she whispers, opening her mouth and wiggling her tongue to make sure it was still there.

Yasmin grabs her chin and gently closes her mouth, beginning to fail on hiding her smile. "Of course you do, can you tell us which of these medicines will help you?"

"Laughter is the best medicine, I don't need any of that," the Doctor says, demonstrating by erupting in more giggles and burying her face back in your neck.

You all look at each other, not knowing what to do. As her laughter peters out, you see her eyelids begin to droop. You gently nudge her shoulder. "Doctor, would sleep help?"

She nods sleepily against you and yawns. You gently stand the two of you up, and sling her arm around your shoulder. "Come on, I'll take you to bed."

She gives a small wave to the others, who are watching all this go down. "Bye fam, I'm gonna go sleep with Y/N now."

You didn't think it was possible to get much redder but you were pretty sure it was happening now. As you watch everyone try in vain not to laugh, you wish you could fling yourself into the void of space. The door was right there, it would be so easy to pretend this wasn't happening. You groan quietly and wrench your eyes shut. "Doc, you're killing me," you choke out.

She ruffles your hair and leans more of her weight against you. "I wouldn't kill you, I like you too much," she grins.

"Well, that's comforting. Come on, can you walk?"

You watch her consider for a minute before shaking her head sadly and slumping toward the ground. You catch her and hoist her upright, wondering with amusement if she's just pretending. You hook an arm under her knees and lift her up. She wastes no time throwing her arms around your neck and nuzzling her face into your shoulder.

"Alright, if you lot can figure out if any of those medicines will help, let us know," you plead, procrastinating leaving the console room, nervous about what the Doctor might do when you two are alone.

Ryan salutes as you start to walk away, turning to whisper toward the others. "I think Y/N is gonna have a rough night."

Yasmin chuckles. "Well it's about time one of them made a move already, even if the Doctor had to be high as a kite to do it."

"Hey, you two, Y/N won't let anything happen with the Doctor like that, no matter how much they both clearly want it to," Graham scolds.

"I can still hear you!" you shout over your shoulder, hurrying away before you catch anything else. You glance down at the Doctor to see her eyes shut. You jostle her slightly so her eyes sleepily open a bit and she stares up at you. "Hey, sleepy, how do we get to your room?"

She closes her eyes and just barely shakes her head. "Let's go to your room."

You groan and sigh, realizing she isn't going to be any help. As you navigate the TARDIS and find your room, you set her down gently so you can open the door. As you turn from her and reach for the handle, you feel hands fall on your shoulders and spin you around. Before you can figure out what is happening, you find yourself pinned against the door, the Doctor staring you down, seemingly wide awake now. You gulp as you feel your heart rate quicken, registering how close she is to you. She leans even closer until you are almost touching noses, suddenly very serious. You're frozen in place, knowing you should push her away but incapable of doing so.

She stops impossibly close to your face and looks as if she is about to reveal an incredibly important secret. "Y/N. You. Are. Really. Cute," she punctuates, pulling away as she finishes and slumping over with laughter.

You relax as soon as she is gone, but hate that you miss how close she was. "Doctor, you're just saying that, you don't really think that." As you go to try and open the door again, she's back in a flash and pressing her whole body against you so you can't move. You try to hold back a whimper as she gets right up in your face again.

"Why would you say that, of course I mean it," she pouts. You can't tell if her eyes are glistening with tears or if they're just shining as an effect of the gas.

You sigh and shrink as far back into the door as you can. "You're right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," you whisper gently.

Her face lights up and all is seemingly forgiven. She leans back toward you, agonizingly slowly. "Y/N, can I kiss you?"

All the air leaves your lungs as you stare into her hopeful eyes. You have to fight the urge to say yes, shaking your head slightly. "I don't think that would be a good idea," you stutter out.

A pout crosses her lips as she moves even closer to you. "But I really want to," she whispers.

You jerk your head back before she can accomplish her goal, smacking your skull into the door. You wince and shoot a hand up to rub your head. The Doctor falls forward, almost collapsing with laughter.

"Well, I'm glad my pain is so amusing to you, Doctor," you complain, narrowing your eyes at her. Almost as fast as she had started laughing, she stops, bolting upright again and pinning your hand above your head against the door. You try to tug it free, but she is surprisingly strong, moving back into your space. As she gets closer, you find the handle with your free hand and open the door, falling backwards into your room and landing hard on the floor. You scramble up before the Doctor can process that she is laying on top of you, immediately hating yourself for how much you had enjoyed the brief contact.

The Doctor sits up and leans against the wall, watching as you hurriedly pull the covers back on your bed. You cautiously walk back over to her and lean down to scoop her up, leading her toward the bed so she can sleep this off already. As you sit her down gently, you can see her try to hide a mischievous grin. Oh no.

She laughs as she yanks your arm, pulling you on top of her and then rolling in one swift movement so she is perched on top of you. She giggles in triumph at her cunning, poking your cheeks as they begin to flush red again. You bury your face in your hands, refusing to look at her or acknowledge your current situation.

"Doctor, this is torture!" you yelp as she rests her hands on your sides, bunching the fabric of your shirt between her fingers. You bite back a hum of contentment as you gently pry her hands away.

She sits back and bites her lip, confused. God, she looks so adorable. Why couldn't she be in her right mind right now?

She tilts her head to one side. "Don't you like me?"

You can feel your heart break as she looks down at you. "Of course I like you, Doctor, I want this to be happening more than anything in the world! But I can't let you do this while you're so out of it, I would hate myself for letting it happen and you'd hate me for not stopping you." You hadn't planned on saying all of that, but once you started, you couldn't stop. You couldn't stand the wounded look she was giving you. Hopefully this gas would have some kind of memory effects and she would forget about everything in the morning.

She grabs your hands in her own and rubs her thumb over your knuckles. "I could never hate you, Y/N," she says sincerely, before flashing a cheeky grin and pinning your hands back above your head. You try to wriggle away from her, but a knowing look flashes in her eyes as she figures you aren't really giving an escape your full effort. You force yourself to flip over so you're laying on your stomach; you can't let her do something she'll regret and resent you for letting her do.

She seems to take this as an invitation as you feel her start to pepper kisses on the back of your neck. "Doc, Doc, you have to go to sleep," you squeak.

"Can I at least get a kiss goodnight?"

She sounds so innocent and desperate, you feel awful for saying no. You would feel horribly guilty if you said yes, but at least you would both be getting what you want. But you couldn't let your first kiss happen like this. You turn your head so you can see her out of the corner of your vision. "How about a rain check, Doc? We can do it tomorrow when you're feeling better."

"Alright," she mumbles, before collapsing on top of you, trapping you underneath her. You can feel her breathing even out immediately and feel simultaneously thankful that she is asleep and embarrassed that you are trapped like this. You try to wiggle out from under her, but she shifts in her sleep and buries her face in your neck, wrapping her arms around you. You sigh, not wanting to wake her and remind her of her drug-enhanced mission. And if she left and tried to get herself in more trouble than usual, you would at least feel her leave. You fight off sleep yourself, trying to keep your eyes open for as long as possible, but burning so much willpower is surprisingly exhausting. This wouldn't be that bad in the morning.

* * *

It was that bad. You woke with a start as you heard the Doctor yelp and leap off of you, scurrying away and watching you warily, breathing heavily. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and put your hands up in surrender, keeping a safe distance in case she was angry with you. You could see her processing the situation, and as everything came back to her, she slumped back to the bed, burying her face in her hands and groaning softly.

You go to put a comforting hand on her shoulder before thinking better of it, not positive where the two of you stand at the moment. "Hey, Doc," you say, trying to speak as gently as possible. "Do you remember what happened yesterday?"

She nods into her hands, refusing to look at you. You grimace, not sure what to do. "Doctor? Are you mad at me?"

She bolts upright, staring at you with confusion. "Of course I'm not mad at you, you should be mad at me!"

You smile sadly and huff out a sigh. "How could I be mad at you, Doctor? You were drugged, I know you didn't mean any of it," you say, brushing the hair out of her face. You had to keep telling yourself she didn't mean it, she didn't want you, she was drugged, she didn't know what she was doing.

"Y/N, I - I meant it," she whispers, looking away from you as her face crumples up. "And I know you were just saying what you said so you wouldn't upset me, and I'm so sorry I did all those things, you have every right to hate me, I -"

"Doc, I could never hate you," you interrupt. You glance away, unable to look her in the eyes. "And I meant what I said, too. Last night was hell for me, but not because I didn't like what you were trying to do, but because I had to stop you from doing it."

The two of you sit there in silence, letting your confessions hang in the air. You can't bear to look at each other, afraid of what might happen if you do. You sigh nervously. "So, where do we go from here, Doctor? If you want to pretend like this never even happened, I wouldn't hold it against you."

You see her turn toward you out of the corner of your eye. You steal a quick peek at her and she's smiling at you sheepishly. "Well, Y/N, I believe you still owe me a raincheck on that goodnight kiss. I mean, if you want to, you totally don't have to do anything you don't want to do, I'm silly to even ask -"

You cut her off by pressing your lips to hers before you can lose your nerve. She lets out a squeak of surprise and you pull away, afraid she's changed her mind.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't -" you start before she grins and grabs the front of your shirt, pulling you back to her. This time it's your turn to let out a shocked squeal as you feel her break into a smile against your mouth. She pulls back abruptly and you sigh contentedly, already missing her presence.

"I believe we left some things unfinished last night," she says with a cheeky grin.

"I believe you're right," you giggle, pulling her back toward you. It was going to be a good morning.


End file.
